How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
