i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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