She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
