the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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