EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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