the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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