He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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