Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
