i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
