So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
