You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
