Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
