I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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