I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
