rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
