VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
