I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
