She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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