So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
