just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
