People with herpes should wear stickers.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
There's even glitter on my cock...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
