How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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