hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
