someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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