I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
