Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
