Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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