y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
