I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
