I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we're making bets on your personal life
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
