Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
why is half of my head shaved?
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