everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
