Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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