Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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