WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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