He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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