I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
