I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
