Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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