This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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