Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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