I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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