so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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