He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
