I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I want to make a zoo with you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
