I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
