there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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