I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
whose parrot is this?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
is that a dick in a sweater?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
