I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
last night I used snow as a chaser
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
