I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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