I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
