i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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